A short story about a breaking experience of a queer guy and a straight man…

Have you ever experienced an unrequited love for a straight man? Have you ever had a long time crush on a straight man? Have you ever had to live your life surrounded by straight people whom you are sure will never fall for you no matter how you try? Well, you need to hear my story. My name is Olamide and this is my experience with a straight friend…

Living in the ghetto area of Lagos state where everyone is hustling and striving so hard to have daily achievements for themselves is something very demanding especially for a graduate with a secured job like me. Everyone in this locality looks up to people like me as seniors and bosses because at least, we are not suffering like others.

Unlike other youths that have to venture themselves to hard labor just to survive, I have a job in a reputable company; I own my fully furnished apartment and a personal car that I use for my personal locomotion. These little achievements of mine make me look like a god in the eyes of youths in the society as they look up to a lot of things and also come to me for help from time to time. To be precise, I am their role model.

Well, we all have our personal struggles and for me, it is really hard. Being a gay man, bottom to be precise, who lives in such a community full of masculine and homophobic men is not something friendly. It is not an easy task to always wake up every day and hear people throwing tantrums at my own kind and showing how proud they are whenever they humiliate someone of my nature.

For these obvious reasons, I have never made my sexuality open to anyone. Even though I go on dating applications to find hookups, I always make sure I hide my identity until I am assured that the person I am hooking up with is not from my community. All these are to avoid problems with these homophobic people. I always wanted to save up to be able to afford a friendlier environment and step out of this coven. But pending the time I am able to do so, I had to maintain my low and anonymous life.

But the more I try, the more I get distracted. It seems there is this force that is dragging me close to this certain guy in my compound. He is by the name Ayomide, but let’s call him Ayo for short. Ayo is obviously my age mate; he is also in his late twenties, probably 28. He is a graduate from university of Lagos but he is currently unemployed due to the increase in the population of graduates hitting the labor market every year.

Ayo is a black athletic handsome man with a bald head and bearded face. He is always cool and by himself. You can tell from a look that Ayo is very reserved and educated also. You will never see him engaging himself in unnecessary gatherings in the compound. He prefers staying in his apartment whenever he is at home. Ayo is a mechanic, so whenever he is not at work, he stays alone by himself. This is the reason why I got interested in Ayo’s life and began getting closer to him. 

It all started early this year when I decided to give him my car for a routine service. We got to talk a few times and I realized how intelligent the guy is. To be very honest, I fell in love with him the few weeks we started talking, but I am never sure of his sexuality. I was totally confused because he never talked about his relationship and he never asked about mine. Whenever I tried asking him about his girlfriend or ex if any, he would quickly change the topic and showed me how uninterested he is.

Fast forward to June, my friendship with Ayo has grown to a certain level that we do visit each other’s apartment, eat together, play games, talk about our lives and families and also sleep at each other’s place sometimes. At this point, I am very comfortable with Ayo because the guy is damn oriented and intelligent.

I remembered a day we were watching a movie at my place. I ran out of Netflix subscriptions so we decided to explore the series from my system. He stumbled on “Sex Education series”. I was so freaked out that I started sweating profusely trying to bring up some words to defend myself. I had to lie that the series was mistakenly sent to me by a colleague and it contains a queer couple. I was stammering as I talked to him.

Ayo smiled and played the series comfortably without saying a word. He watched a couple of episodes without complaining. I was surprised how he comfortably watched every scene including the queer scenes without even forwarding them. I had to quench my curiosity by asking him about it as I giggled and faced him.

“How are you comfortable watching such things Ayo? Aren’t you disgusted?” I asked, looking curious. He smiled for a while as he slowly paused the series and adjusted himself while he faced me. “Well, it is just a movie. And besides, there is nothing disgusting between two people trying to express love among them.” He answered briefly as he continued the series.

I was even more shocked at his response as I watched him continue the series. This is the point where my crush for him increased drastically. I wasn’t sure of his sexuality but I could swear that Ayo is gay if not bisexual. All his behaviors are pointing at those and I am relaxed to make my greatest move on him. I started planning all my necessary strategies to hit on Ayo.

One fateful Friday evening after a hectic day at work, I arrived at home very tired and hungry. To worsen the situation, I was feeling very lazy to cook, so I took a shower, wore sweat palms and a shirt and headed to Ayo’s apartment. I am determined that he has food in the house because he always has leftovers. 

To my greatest surprise on arriving at his place, I met Ayo crying with a picture on his lap. He was crying seriously with tears all over his face. I tried enquiring about the problem but he wouldn’t say a word, rather he pointed at his phone as he continued crying. I slowly took the phone and to my disappointment, it was a break up text message from his girlfriend.

I didn’t know whether to be happy or surprised. We have never had a discussion about his girlfriend and now this; it is honestly surprising to me. I was still in shock when Ayo stared at me for a while. “She has ended it with me Ola. Kiki has broken up with me.” He said as he hugged me tightly and continued crying.

I must confess that I pitied his situation; I know how heartbroken he is right now. I know how it feels to experience a heartbreak and I know how painful it is. I also hugged him tightly and comforted him for a while. We hugged each other for a while before I slowly walked to his kitchen and warmed up some food for both of us. 

Even though he was still sniffing tears and rejecting the food, I had to force him to take a few bites because he had probably been crying all day as the message came in since morning. I also forced him to take a bath and gave him some painkillers. I am sure he has a severe headache due to the intense crying. Well, it is a Friday evening, so I decided to sleepover at his place to help him calm down.

As usual, we slept on his spacious bed facing opposite’s side as we always do. I don’t know how it happened or how it started but the last thing I could remember was Ayo asking to hug me tightly from behind because he was cold. I allowed him to do that and the next thing was me having a bulge. I am sure he feels it as he wraps his hands around me and comfortably touches it.

I couldn’t resist his intimate hug at this point so I quickly turned and grabbed his lips as I started kissing him passionately. It might be because Ayo is heartbroken and needed some comfort, so he kissed me back immediately. I increased the rate of the kiss to a French kiss and Ayo was responding to every move I made.

I slowly moved down to his dick that was fully erect and began sucking him aggressively. Ayo was still lying on the bed moaning helplessly and following every step I took. After a while, I moved on top of him and sat on his dick as I started riding it slowly. I am a power bottom obviously and Ayo’s dick is not that fat for me to take in without lube so I endured the little pain just to make him comfortable.

We switched to different styles of fucking with me initiating them and after some minutes of an intense fuck, Ayo started groaning loudly as he released and collapsed on the bed. We slept off in opposite direction as usual and to be honest, that was a memorable fuck for me. Ayo isn’t a bad fucker but I won’t say he is the best. May be because I have been longing to have him fuck me, I really enjoyed it and will go for more.

The following morning, Ayo didn’t give me a strange face. He acted normal as we usually do. I was hoping that things would change; I was hoping that he would be more romantic or probably out himself to me, but to my greatest surprise, nothing happened. I was curious as I also acted like nothing happened that night. We continued living our normal friend’s life for a couple of weeks and Ayo never mentioned it again.  

Another fateful day when Ayo was sleeping over in my apartment, I made a move on him again and surprisingly, he didn’t resist. We had another marathon sex and the following morning, nothing awkward happened. Ayo never changed from being just a friend and he never mentioned about the sex. This continues happening between us, whenever I am sleeping over at his place or vice versa, we would have sex and pretend nothing happened.

I don’t know how to classify my current relationship with Ayo. Maybe it can be classified as friends with benefits. Anyways, I can call it what I want. We always have sex whenever one party needs it but we never talked about it outside the sex. 

Anyways, it is a win for me, I have always been crushing on Ayo and I am already happy with this relationship. I know Ayo might be feeling uncomfortable to out himself at the moment, maybe he isn’t ready or he might still be struggling to accept himself but I am willing to wait for him till he is ready. I am already over excited for this sex thing, so waiting a bit longer won’t be a thing to me.

It has been over three months and my friendship with Ayo is getting stronger. Not only on the sex part but also, we have become close that everyone in the neighborhood knows us together as friends. I visit his workshop occasionally on weekends and we always have drinks together in a nearby bar.

I was sitting in my apartment one evening going through my savings records. I was so happy that I have enough money to rent a bigger apartment and move out of this neighborhood. I want to rent a bigger apartment where I can move in together with Ayo. I didn’t want to break the surprise for him till I had finished making all the arrangements.

I was still sitting on my couch when the door opened slowly. It was Ayo; he walked in with a smile on his face and some envelopes on his hands. He greeted me as usual and took the couch opposite mine. “I have gotten a job in an automobile company, Ola.” He said with a visible smile on his face as he shoved me the appointment letter. I was so happy that I quickly jumped and hugged him.

He giggled a bit as he slowly pushed me away. “Easy bro.” he said as he adjusted himself. I was a bit embarrassed so I moved back slowly. He smiled and faced me again. “I will be traveling to my village next week. The date for my traditional wedding has been fixed so I want to start making arrangements.” He said handing me over an invitation card. 

I was dumb for a while as I slowly collected the invitation from him. I stared at it hoping to be sure it was a prank. But behold, it is real. Ayo is getting married. “For real?” I asked, staring at him as he also looked at me curiously. “What do you mean for real man? I am getting married seriously.” He said with a smirk on his face. I giggled a bit with a tiring smile. “I thought we had a thing between us Ayo? I thought we had a moment? Where is all this coming from?” I asked with a serious face.

Ayo stared at me surprisingly. “What was between us Ola?” He asked, looking honest. I was talking while stammering when he quickly interrupted me. “Oh, do you mean all the sex? That was just sex for crying out loud Ola. It was only sex and nothing. It is a normal thing people do just to climax. We are straight guys Ola; get that into your head.” He said as he hit my legs jokingly.

I quickly sparked up and faced him. “How dare you call that just sex Ayo? And who the hell told you I am straight? Oh, have you been fooling me all these while? Have you been using me? I was here thinking of taking things to the next level with you, I was already thinking of moving in and starting a relationship while you were low key planning your life. How could you do this to me Ayo? How could you?” I ranted looking angry.

Ayo, who was still sitting on the couch, stared at me surprisingly as I rant out my stomach. “He slowly stood up and faced me. “So you are gay? Wow this is hilarious. It’s actually you who have been using me then. I took all those as mutual things just to satisfy our urges. It’s about the moment and the act. It was just sex and no feelings attached. Sex could be sex regardless of gender, it is just a means of relieving stress and satisfying urges.” Ayo said, looking at me as he began walking away. 

I quickly stood in front of him looking pale as I panicked. “Tell me this is a prank Ayo. Tell me you don’t mean it. You can’t possibly treat me like this Ayo. I am sure you saw the feelings in my eyes. I am sure you knew I treated you special and more than a friend. I am sure you feel it within you Ayo. That wasn’t just about the moment. What would you call all these Ayo?” I asked desperately.

He slowly walked away and turned when he reached the door. “Call it what you want Ola but Just because I had sex with you doesn’t mean I am not straight or I am not homophobic. I will probably show you how straight I am and how homophobic I can be when you decide to impose your feelings on me. I don’t have any feelings for you Olamide. I just had sex with you because I was horny at the moment and I have no regrets for doing that. What we had was just a glimpse of the moment and nothing more. Get that into your head and stop being delusional.” He said as he walked out of the room.

I stood dumb as I watched Ayo walk away. That was when it dawned on me that I have no right to be angry about this, we never had something serious, it was just sex and we never had a proper discussion about it. Maybe Ayo was right, straight people can have the same gender sex but that doesn’t make them homosexuals.

I cried for a couple of days because I am heartbroken. All these while, I thought there was a spark between us, but I never realized that Ayo was just enjoying the spark of the moment. Anyways, it was my entire fault, I should have talked about it rather than waiting and hoping things will turn in my favor. I was so broken that I had to move out of the apartment after a few weeks while Ayo traveled to his hometown for his wedding…

FEW MONTHS LATER

It has been a couple of months since I last heard from Ayo. I have not even for once met him because I have moved out of the neighborhood. I couldn’t bear living in the same community with him because I was totally broken from the experience.

I learned a lot from my experience with Ayo. His silent treatment taught me a lot of things about my sexuality and the queer community. The most important thing I learned is that being gay is not all about sex; it’s about the mutual feelings between partners, the love and affection. 

Sex can happen between people of different and same gender, it can happen between people of different and same sexualities but only that sex cannot determine the sexual orientation of an individual. 

You can call it what you want, but my experience with Ayo has been one of the romantic and tragic ones. Even though I accepted the fact that he wasn’t meant for me, I still wished the world would be filled with straight people like him. I always smile when I remember Ayo’s last words to me… “You are lucky I am not homophobic Ola, you are lucky I am not a narrow minded person, but I assure you someone out there would have done the worst thing for you just for tagging them to what they don’t belong.”

With my little experience, I wish you all will take heed from me when I tell you to LEAVE STRAIGHT MEN ALONE. It will not only end in premium tears, but also not all of you will be lucky to find a straight Ayo like I do…

THE END…

 

       Written by:

       Msquare!